Humour, films, comics, tea and the Darshan room

It's hard because when you are in the presence of a master, a lot of times all the questions Don't take me as a master, I am a very ordinary disciple, I am just a beginner in yoga. Yeah. Remember that, and wisdom begins the moment you realize your ignorance. I think I know nothing. I am just a beginner. It's a golden light. Beautiful, and this light is golden; without light, there is nothing, but even then, they call the light-bringer the devil. Hmm, I don't understand this. Is it possible that in the pantheon, the Christian pantheon, they screwed up with Lucifer and Well, I have absolutely no idea because I haven't read the Bible. Yeah. And I am a Hindu, I am not a Christian,

Just imagine a person who has no idea about you, about spirituality. An average Indian is always afraid of magic and tantra. He thought about that and the cremation area was just behind us. He thought that I might be a ghost. It was very frightful.

Two-three years back he came. After I became pretty famous in Gwalior he may have realised that he was mistaken and I am a real person, not a ghost. And he needed some help also. He is very serious diabetic. He wants to be my disciple no w. So maybe if he will come on Shiva Ratri , we will make him do prayaschita and see.

They say the rhythm sounds like shiver, shiver, shiver. Shiver, shiver, shiver. Male musicians. Maybe, maybe. Because near that.

from one of my Russian disciple. Guru G is there any mudra by practicing that money will start coming to you. I said of course you are talking to an Indian guru. I will demonstrate that mudra. Watch carefully mudra. [laughter] You do this and money will start coming all over the world. Try it.

If I'm in good mood, I give practice easily. If I'm in bad mood, I take long action. Because nowadays many people are coming, they have done lots of research already in it. They are doing good studies and they are going deeper into the subject. So, my mood is good. My god, my mood was really bad in those days. I mean, let's say about 20 years back or 25 years back. I was using so heavy bad words most of the time. The reaction to the situation. Even a person in samadhi react. Of course, you have to deal with that even though you may be very

knowledgeable wise person. And if someone is wise and knowledgeable, he will know every single bad word also. And he will be wise enough to know exactly when to use and when not to use. That is wisdom.

SHORT STATEMENTS

Guruji, and Kapil Muni was the inventor of that mantra: hum?

Guruji: you see, in India, when we’re agree on something, we say “Hm”.

ABOUT PAINT ARTIST

All comics we have been reading, even “Asterix”: simple man will never understand the story: the very deep satire and very deep wisdom is there. Find one comics: “Asterix the Gladiator”: he have been captured and facing the trial; and one lawyer is saying – poor slave-trader, trying his best to care of his family - that is the best satire I’ve read. Honest businessman: slave trader.

All these great paint artists, which pictures were sold by millions of dollars: they never bring a smile to a face. But all comics artists – Will Eisner, Joe Shuster, Jerry Siegel,- and all the Marvel comics – they have brought a smile to billions! So – hats off to them! I like them, they are great artists. If you see the pictures of Picasso or Salvador Dali – no smile. You just listen to the price – and seven generations will be born without a smile on their face.

do You like Mr.Bean?

Guruji: I’m great fan of Mr.Bean, he’s great. You must see his two movies: Johnny English and Johnny English reborn – such fantastic ideas. Only the intellectual man can be the great entertainer. He’s a deep man, no doubt.

MOST ROMANTIC STORY

now I think that logic is only for the slaves?

Guruji: we’re all slaves of the system. Remain logical. If you will not be logical then you will have to leave society. More intelligent people know how to behave: socially correct behaviour.

psychologists are saying that people who love rainy days and storms are too much attached to conflicts, they like to create the situations?

Guruji: only in a storm time they can remain home and be in peace. That’s why they like it: because if they go outside they create more conflicts.

on another point of view – it’s very romantic weather?

Guruji: if you have romance in your life – yes ( smiling ); we will need to understand the exact meaning of the word “romance”: the dictionary says: very high imagination is romance. And the best romantic story I read- when Shiva Ji married Sati they have no house and lived open air and the rains came. She became very worried: how will I survive, we have no home. Shiva took her and sat on the top of the clouds: here you will not worry about it.

READ COMICS

I don’t know why I remember it now; a woman was talking about her lover – then he, who became another man, was chief of the tribe. How he became chief of the tribe: by cutting the head of someone else, who killed his father; you must read the story! That is the real example of a woman’s power. Then one day, when all the men were away hunting, a group of soldiers came: she was the lady of the house and the chief’s wife – so she received them upon their arrival. And they put her husband’s head on the table. She showed no reaction at all, which surprised them. Then she created such a situation where she created a desire for her in every soldier; and they began to fight with each other till it was sunrise then all the hunters came back and killed them. That is the greatest example of the woman’s power, which Neil Gaiman wrote in that comic. That is power, display of power. You must read it! It’s in the Sandman series: the Desire is telling the story; fantastic concept.

An idea of Sandman’s crow – it looks like Bhusundi there. I think the person, who doesn’t know any story or spy thrillers – never realizes himself. Never will he understand vedas and puranas and spiritual processes. Reading comics is a must for every yogi.

Some alien’s ship came to one planet and took over it; then after many-many years they realized that very big monoliths, giant statues – they were thinking those giants – they are alive. Then the chief of the alien troop thought, ``What is the use of willing something if we’re not able to convey a message to the habitants of that planet? So they tried every type of weapon on them: and nothing happened. Then they died of time and old age- that’s it. This is one point of view. Another point of view: two men are sitting by the sea on a border, talking; then one man suddenly says – you noticed something that happened here and disappeared? The other man, looking at the stars, said: don’t bother – life is too short! I remember this amazing story. Why were weapons not working on them? Even weapons need time to have some effect on someone! Their time frame was different – and the aliens' time frame was different. I remember because we were also thinking so much about that.

Could it be the first way of passing information: before it appeared - they drew some pictures?

Guruji: Yes, even cavemen were doing it.

WHAT IS MIND

the immortals are hiding?

Guruji: every superhero has the secret identity – that’s the best thing from comics. Recently I saw “dr. Strange” – I’ve read many comics before, but the movie is good. And it also tells me: wherever the American disciple came – there will be always danger for a teacher. The best of disciples was Johny English( laughing)

I have big collection: and a polar bear’s nail also. But whenever I use - I just lost interest to talk and want to be alone and this thing becomes stronger and stronger. Maybe now it’s not a right time to wear it.

SUNGLASSES

why You’re wearing sunglasses?

Guruji: I like them – that’s why. I’m living in democratic country – I have freedom to expression. I can do anything I like within the limits of the law. Wearing sunglasses I’m not bringing any law; I like it. If someone didn’t like it – they are free to don’t like it, why should I care?

You don’t compromise?

Guruji: compromise for what? If they cannot compromise what I like – why should I compromise what they like? I’m not disturbing their lives.

who is Your favorite superhero?

Guruji: Superman of course. Hulk is good – but Superman is Superman. Hulk is a modern science fiction of dr. Jekyll and mr. Hide

He must be the strongest among all superheroes?

Guruji: to some level – but Superman is stronger.

maybe jedi from Star wars?

Guruji: they are good, but no. salut to the creator of Superman, Jerry Siegel: his character evolves all the time. How they get the idea to create the character like that? First he was not so strong – he was just able to cross the tall border with a single bound, was able to run faster than opponents – then over the time he became stronger and stronger and stronger. Now he’s flying much faster than the speed of light. He is evolving. I like most of the superheroes.

jedi’s discipline looking like yogic?

Guruji: in a way.

do You recommend some new movies?

Guruji: “Dracula” Netflix series - amazing dialogues. And the best was: “You’re a monster! – and You are a lawyer!” – nobody is perfect( laughing). This was first time: Dracula working out on treadmill and saying: serving nowadays is so good - even I have to exercise. That was fantastic( smiling)

have You seen “Black mirror” on Netflix?

Guruji: is it good? About what?

generally about interaction of present and future. Some series are very good.

Guruji: ok. You see “Midnight mass”: recently young man from Delhi recommend it. Whatever we saying: Christianity and vampirism – you will see it there. And they are quoting bible in many places. Otherwise I get very little time to see.

THREE TIMES

This is the very old thing – I’ve been hearing it for last 58 years; when he listens to the joke – he laughs with everybody. When he tells the joke to another person – he laughs again with everybody. Third time – when he actually understands the joke; so – three times!

…yesterday when I saw city people – it is not a good thing. I was feeling like an alien there. And everybody was staring at me, looking at me – it’s strange feeling then everybody is looking at you.

we can do anything – but it is not the main aim of life? Without yoga everything is meaningless

Guruji: now for us – yes. And for them yoga is meaningless. Like to opposite sides.

MANUFACTURING DEFFECT

I don’t know if I will say this – whether ladies will like it or they will criticize me – but a question came up from a woman; she asked me – why all men are fools? I said: this is manufacturing defect – all men are fools because ladies delivered them. This is not our fault!

In my home town I cannot go on the road – thousands of people gathering. Here is more comfortable.

your old gurubhayas are visiting You now?

Guruji: oh, most of them were dedushkas and many are seeing on us from up there. I heard Lucifer laughing – maybe they’re visiting him also. Most of them were very old – young people were not interesting in yoga in those days. Only retired people will go to learn yoga. I’m lucky – more young people are coming to me.

We can spell kriya yoga like “crea” from creation – it creates a new you. Maybe it was the original name – and then the spelling was changed.

MYSTICAL STORIES PART 4 / SNAKE CHARMERS

Even my situation is impossible. Without Govardhan Maharaj’s grace – it’s impossible. He is called the Black God – Kala Devata. And I’m happy to be here.

PERFECTLY

IMPERFECT

One

important man came one time and he was discussing something and I’ve continued

to answer him; most of his arguments disappear, he became angry and shouted: are

you a perfect man?!

I was in

good mood and said – yes, I’m a perfect man.

How?

I told him:

I’m perfectly imperfect – show me any fl a w in my imperfection. I’m perfectly

imperfect!

And he went

away.

PHILOSOPHY

What is philosophy? As I see from grassroot level: philosophy is the libido of impotent man.

SHRI KRISHNA STATUE

If you take the drop from the ocean – it’s not the ocean, it’s just a drop of water – nobody will not even say “it’s ocean water”. when it is back – it is again ocean. That is amazing. The whole cult of bhakti based on it.

He is Mr.Arora from Delhi: his wife, when he was maybe 13-14 years, was playing outside of her house with other children. Then the big construction was coming up from the ground – they found the basement – and she found the small statue of Shri Krishna. She thought it is plastic – so she took it home; it remain with her till she got married and became mother. Then he came to me, many years before – maybe 24-25 years before; they became my disciples – she also became my disciple. After 1 year the statue appear to her in the dream and told her: take me to your Guru, I will live there. next day they arrive with the small statue of Shri Krishna, I still have it – very beautiful. Then we called Shyam Bihari and decided – he should stand on the hood of the cobra, like he did Lila, Kalyanar. He was just planning the design and said – it’s made of pure ivory and it’s very old. Then we checked – it was at least 400 years old, fantastic work. When they came back I told them – it’s not plastic, it’s ivory – if you want to take it back? They said: no, he ordered us to come here. Now he’s sitting up in one of the rooms – small and very beautiful. Now he’s standing on the top of the silver cobra head with the silver flute.

MANORANJAN

the world is an illusion?

Guruji: but as illusion it is real: you need also to consider this fact.

is it just a play?

Guruji: entertainment is the most important. There are much more fans of Michael Jackson than any Guru; entertainment is the very great thing. In hindi “entertainment” is “ manoranjan”: if you translate it – it means “ giving a color to the mind”. So every entertainer in my opinion is a true devotee of a god: refer to Gita – “in all the senses I am the mind”. Mind is representing the world inside. So whoever is giving a certain color of making up – is showing his devotion to the god, remember that.

Illusion is real as illusion. Is it not a real illusion? As every lie is truly lie.

great decision – to marry mad person

Guruji: only mad man marry( laughing).

Same cousin – who is part of our immortal stories – he was government engineer, after retirement he came here. I had here more then 100 people working; within 15 minutes he calculated how much money it will take to pay them off. Then he called me to one side: come here, I want to talk. And he asked me: how are you manage it? I said: this is the blessing of my Guru and the grace of Govardhan Maharaj. He said – don’t give me this, tell me the truth. Then I asked: please, give me 50 rupees. Out of the blue he gave me. I said: that’s how I manage.

And a famous ghost incident took place with him and his son; he was here for a few days, his son was with him. he has twins – one of the twins was here. They were going on upper level- they were working overtime; so evening time came. I went out to take a break – and he said me: I’m going up to see how work is going. I said ok. When I’m coming back the electricity was gone. It was dark: I hear someone shouting then falling down and running.

Then somebody started the generator( we have the very small generator then). I came running and say –what happened? – and his son was shivering: “ uncle, You were right, this place is full of ghosts”. I asked what happened? “rather I was going on the steps, and suddenly the light went off; I was groping in the dark – and somebody gave the very big bone into my hand. Then I fell down and ran away”. Then came his father, he was also shivering and said: “You were right, this is the haunted place”. I asked what happened? He said: “ I was coming down, suddenly light went out – and out of the darkness the hand came and grab my knee”. Then I got them together and said, what was happened: it was you, no ghost. He became very angry – you want me to have heart attack! But I've never have imagine, that such a funny thing could happen just like that. He’s no more now – but we remember him, smiling faces. Electricity went out in the very precise moment.

CHAI

Tea is very important: all our discussions – because of the tea they became possible. What I see the divinity there: it grows on Himalayas: that means it is the daughter of Himalayas. Either it is a younger sister of devi Parvati – or her Shakti somehow is in the chai. Whenever you drink chai – you feel better: suddenly your mind opens up and you begin to discuss more intelligently. Our discussions dependon chai!

but we have a great number of philosophers, doctors…

Guruji: anyone can talk philosophically. What is philosophy? You continue to talk for 50 years without reaching any conclusion – that thing is called philosophy.

Sitting on the chair you’ll never see a cyclone or a storm. You’ll never see a tide in a cup of coffee.

Many years before – I don’t know why such things happens with me only – women liberation activist from Delhi came to visit me; she was 60 plus. And she was full of anger against man. First thing she started that all men are fools – and she gave about an hour lecture on this topic. When she took a break I ask her – Madam, can you tell me, why all men are fools? She said – you tell me. And I answered that all men are fools because women produce them so it’s manufacturing defect. She never came back.

Illegal child and illegal possession on the other’s land never brings peace.

ABOUT BAD WORDS

…he was some military general and he came to interview me for Kriya yoga; and he discussed so much on Yoga Sutras – it was in 2001 or 2. So many problems were here: so somebody will come and I will use some bad words in hindi – they will go away, some staff. He recorded everything. Then he came back, satisfied. He phoned me after 2 weeks: what were those special yogic terms You were using in between? I said: what yogic terms? He replayed it – and those were the worst bad words(laughing); I said: please, delete them, they are not yogic terms. Only saints may survive without using daily quotes of bad words: tension will continue to build up.

It is very common esoteric belief, that by using bad words you’re creating the bad vibrations, which is affecting your karma and even your body; so you will be sick or something like that?

Guruji: (smiling) that is a wrong belief.

LETS DRINK CHAI

someone told me that if I’m looking for self-development I must expel chai from my diet?

Guruji: it’s for krishnaits and Vaishnavas. As a yogi I will say – chai is important(smiling). No chai – your brain will not wake up. It’s a wake up coin. The only positive thing about Tibetans and Tibetan lamas and Dalai-lama that they drink a lot of tea. So there is some good in them.

TEA

Tea is very important: all our discussions – because of the tea they became possible.

What I see the divinity there: it grows on Himalayas: that means it is the daughter of Himalayas.

Either it is a younger sister of devi Parvati – or her Shakti somehow is in the chai.

Whenever you drink chai – you feel better: suddenly your mind opens up and you begin to discuss more intelligently.

Our discussions depends on chai!

WISDOM

…sometimes you can speed up something. Suppose someone has a severe cold: you go to his house, light a lamp with ghee, burn some incense and start reading Gita: he will die because of thinking that his time has come: you are there doing all these things – so he is dying. He will have no more chances for surviving. So – never ever do that!(laughing) or You can say that a lawyer is waiting outside (laughing) to give them a good time! Whenever the rich man sneezes – his relatives, instead of calling the doctor will call a lawyer.

We have been hearing these stories since we remember – about lamas. What does the word “lama” mean? Like a swami in India. So we have the same stories here.

Is it real?

Guruji: I’ve never seen a lama doing it. They were too busy running away to Tibet to save their lives. Maybe – because they were lamas – and they know the future, and they knew that the coronavirus would come – so better to move Dalay Lama from Tibet now. It was to save themselves from coronavirus. They are very spiritual (smiling).

I am very rich now, so I will remember a very old saying, Money is honey, this is my sonny. A rich man's joke is always funny.

I told him that I am 66 but I am not yet looking pregnant. That is my biggest achievement.

Feeling is good? Yes, today very. Just changing the carpet and bring this result? Yes. Maybe.

Well, I will paraphrase Star Trek because it was my favorite TV show. These are the voices of Shailen Sharma the Yogi to go where no one has gone before with his friends and disciples. I am a Putnik, be my school. That means I am a traveler, travel with me.

Then someone was open.

I wish you all a happy new year and somehow we were able to survive in 2020 and 2021 and we hope you will continue to survive happily in 2022 also. I have only one thing to say and that will prove a very difficult, maybe the most difficult thing to do in this creation. My suggestion is remain very happy throughout this year. Happy New Year.

What is philosophy? As I see from grassroot level, philosophy is the libido of an important thing about that. Great, Guruji. That is great. Yes. That is... I mean...

Well, I will paraphrase Star Trek because it was my favorite TV show. These are the voices of Shailen Sarma the Yogi to go where no one has gone before with his friends and disciples. I am a Putnik, be my school. That means I am a traveler, travel with me.

So I have been asked to say something about on me. I am a simple man so I will simply say you may criticize me, you may praise me but you simply cannot ignore me. Thank you.

READ COMICS

I don’t know why I remember it now; a woman talking about the lover – then who became other’s man, chief of the tribe. How he became chief of the tribe: by cutting the head of someone else, who killed his father; you must read that story! That is the real example of woman’s power. Then one day, when the all men were away for hunting, a group of soldier comes: she is the lady of the house and the chief’s wife – she received them. And they put her husband’s head on the table. She shows no reaction at all, which surprises them. Then she creates such a situation that she created a desire for her in every soldier; and they begin to fight with each other till it was sunrise and all the hunters came back and killed them. That is the greatest example of the woman’s power, which Neil Gaiman written in that comics. That is power, display of power. You must read that! It’s in Sandman series: the Desire is telling the story; fantastic concept.

And idea of Sandman’s crow – it is look like Bhusundi there. I think the person, who doesn’t know any story or spy thrillers – never realize himself. Never will understand vedas and puranas and spiritual process. Reading comics is must for every yogi.

The following phone conversation was recorded on Apr 4, 2004 around 8pm PST.

“Guruji, do you get irritated when people call you in the morning?”. I could imagine that after yoga practice all night he might not feel like talking in the morning (and I usually called him in the morning.)

Guruji said, “I have gotten used to it. It does get irritating when people start discussing their problems first thing in the morning. But silence is increasing which is good.

Guruji laughed and said, “Now I am surrounded. Vakeel Sahab has come for reporting.” Vakeel Sahab is Guruji’s lawyer who would come in the morning and discuss events and plan for the day over a cup of tea. That would usually be the end of our phone conversation. I said Pranam. He said, “Khush raho.”

You see, too much Sanskrit tonization of things may be very confusing. Many people use term “gyana”. Many people call it “jyana”. There was one sadhu – he was Pragyananda. But he was the Sanskrit scholar himself, so he call himself Prajnyananda. And in English it will be written like Pregnananada. And it is reproduction. The whole thing is different.

Then people began to come to me. My disciples came. But my family were unable to understand it. A famous unemployed person going nowhere, suddenly people begin to come to him for advice, to talk. He is talking to them and they are paying him respect. It is very difficult to digest, I think. And they were too much harassed by making hundreds of cup tea every day. May be the tea was the reason why I had to leave my home. I went to my farm and began to live there. Even there everything was going well. My friends and disciples came and made tea for themselves and for me as well.

Life.

One very religious woman asked me, what is life. I said that life is a disease, sexually transmitted and invariably fatal. It shocked her. She was silent during ten minutes, then said – I’m not agree with this, I will go with what my Guru told me. I asked, what he told you. “ he said – life is a mystery”. And I tell her to remain mysterious. Years back it was decided, that on this particular date and this moment and this exact time you will exactly make this statement, that you can make anything a mystery. It was destiny also. It helps pass the time.

if one day will come to house – will khechari help us?

Guruji: definitely. Instead of arresting you – you just show them your mouth, they will take you to the hospital (laughing).

I hope I’ll never use it that way.

Guruji: no need! Better for showing khechari get 100 or 1000 dollars – that will work more quickly.

You’re always telling interesting stories?

Guruji: it helps pass the time. Too much truth is not good for health and its become boring also. Half-truth is the best. To tolerate truth – we’re practicing yoga. We will become strong enough to tolerate the final truth. You’re always telling the truth?

when I was in one temple I said that I have no money

Guruji: god never ask you for money. It is the priest and middle men – they keep asking.

To understand all these you need the highly developed mind and the very big power of discrimination. Great intelligence – all took together. Also you should be forceful like Hulk Hogan to coup of the situation.

I think the old wrestlers had more charisma then nowadays. You remember Ramon Razor? Find him – he was the most stylish looking wrestler of that times.

2026-10-11

KHECHARI MUDRA 2

Q: if one day will come to house – will khechari help us?Guruji: definitely. Instead of arresting you – you just show them your mouth, they will take you to the hospital (laughing). Q: I hope I’ll never use it that way.Guruji: no need! Better for showing khechari get 100 or 1000 dollars – that […]

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