Early life and the search for a Guru

One day my cousin, a retired military officer, came to visit me. At the time I was employing almost 100 people to clean up the area. He calculated day and night, trying to figure out how much it cost to pay for all of this work and kept asking me questions.

Once in the evening he called me aside and said: I am asking you a question, please answer it truthfully: How do you manage?

I said: by the grace of my Guru and Govardhan Maharaj.

He said: Don’t give me this, give me a real answer.

He did not believe me and started to plaster me with questions again.

I said: give me 50 Rs. He did.

And I said: That’s how I manage.

We were discussing the past. If I was nor doing yoga then I can simply, I cannot imagine what else I would be doing. Now it is not possible to imagine that. When I started university my interest was the University. Certainly I wasn’t interested in yoga. Because at present I was not aware of this kind of yoga. I was not to much interested in yoga posture. I don’t know I was never attracted to posturing. I have done quite a lot but there is never interest me in that. How did I make decision not to pursue the military carrier? See in military you have to cut your hairs shot. And I always love long hairs so, that was the main reason I, but I went through out the test, the competition, it was just to prove a point that I am also what some. I got selected for a commission in the army, as an officer. It was 32 years ago. You were born that time. That day it was a good decision on my side. I decided to do nothing. I was not interested in yoga at that time and I decided to do nothing. That’s why the yoga suddenly clicked in 78-79. When I read that book by Yogananda, then it was like a blasting in my mind. Then I decide this is the thing I want to do. Nothing else. What did my parents say? Its usual saying in India to has an unemployed son doing nothing. In those days it was usual, not anymore. Well I will say when you will improve in your practice your body will become more still, no movement will remain, unnecessary movement will not be there, more and more calm and peaceful you will become, body will also become calm and peaceful. They say our body is the only friend you have.

KRIYA YOGA, SHIVA PUJA AND YOUNG LOOK

I’m worried nowadays: my Guru was aware of me since 1968- which we discovered later and it’s too extraordinary for me. He never told me anything, but some of the old people knew about it. I have no such information, who is coming. That worries me from time to time. In 1968 I was only 11 years old and he knew about me.

What about the previous Gurus: they also knew who would carry the tradition?

Guruji: We can assume – that my Guru was aware of me and that of course previous Gurus must've also known about it. But no information has come to me so far.

Maybe You will be the eternal carrier of the tradition?

Guruji: I have no idea

but You achieved the highest level: Lahiri Mahasaya wrote about 4000 samadhis but You crossed over much more?

Guruji: His statement was: when you will experience 4000 samadhis your mental state will become different – and I agree absolutely with that. Many people nowadays discuss too much; but they were all growing old.

Yes, no one was looking like You

Guruji: This also worries me sometimes. We cannot put exactly a figure on me now – it's like an ageless look is developing. I don’t think I look like a teenager but I don’t look old at all. Some people say late 30, some people say early 40. But this result was not anticipated. Maybe Babaji introduced something extraordinary since 1988: because all my disciples are looking younger than their contemporaries. I’m lucky that way. Or maybe daily Shiva Puja is also having its effect.

Do all other Gurus also perform daily Shiva puja?

Guruji: Well, in Benares it was a common thing to do: most of the houses have Shivalingam; but this is the exact cremation spot of the king and the first time this Shivalingam appeared – so it’s a different situation. And this type of puja we never see anywhere, like old Bhattaji described it in Pashupatinath. Puja is having some effect.

Guruji, how did You manage to remember all these rituals that You doing during Shiva puja?

Guruji: It took some time: he made me note it down, point by point. Then all red clothes and everything. We came back and it took about 2-3 months to settle down in it, not suddenly.

I think it’s not like during the ritual You think – oh, now I must go there and put this to that?

Guruji: No, it has become automatic, yes. And we need a good assistant also: like a good surgeon needs a good nurse. Whenever he lifts his hand – she gives him the exact tool.

I did not know how I should dress: dhoti – ok, but on top kurta or something else, we experimented. Then red sweater in winter and t-shirt in the summer – it came down to that, which I think looks better. These are like working clothes. I will be 65 this year. When some old person comes – old friend or someone; looking at them I’m afraid. If I’m surrounded with disciples – everything is fine. Another thing we notice: it seems like the waves. Initially elderly people were surrounding me; now more younger people are surrounding me.

BATS

We were celebrating Shivaratri, we were all sitting on the veranda of the temple; suddenly 25-30 big bats just came. Red eyes, pure black – they were about 1 meter size – they landed on the trees and remain with us the whole night. Before morning they disappeared.

YOGIN’S MISSION

why some great yogis had the very short lifetime?

Guruji: such people come to do some special work or some mission and when it is done – no need to remain longer. It depends on the work – for what you have come.

what about Yogananda Paramahamsa?

Guruji: he make the Kriya yoga very famous, the lineage became very famous – maybe that was his mission. He was the first yogi to go west. My own journey began after reading his book in 1979. Maybe that was his mission(smiling) – to give us inspiration.

FEAR TEACHES

When you wake up – you face the world and world is harsh enough and so many problems are there. Who doesn’t want to avoid it? But we have to face it anyway.

do You have fears?

Guruji: so many – even now. You need to be afraid – only durak is not afraid. Fear makes you very careful.

RULES

on puja we must not cross the line between Shiva and the cow?

Guruji: yes, that’s why we made half-circle. Whatever we’re offering – it is going in the certain way: if you cross it – all your prosperity will disappear. Good time will disappear – so nobody crossing it.

KEEP PRACTICING DAVAY PRAKTIKUY

Guruji: we have the line in the song: those, who know too much – they don’t recognize what is being human. knowing too much maybe not good idea: you start categorizing people according to what you have read – which may not be proper.

“yogin attains similarity with Shiva by weapon and activities”; activities is yoga practice?

Guruji: it is the result of practice of yoga. Weapons here means powers.

Yoga technics are given to us so we are practice them. They are not given to us so we are just continuously discussing them. They are for practicing, not for discussing .

GURUJI ABOUT READING

why they decide to take birth in other countries?

Guruji: otherwise who will go and teach them? It is not possible that so many great experts in postures and so many things just coming from the West – this is nearly impossible. That is the very good beginning. I was always interested in Kriya – and never interested in postures.

You have ever practiced other technics than Kriya?

Guruji: nothing

what do You think: past life remembrances are more important than genetics?

Guruji: with good past life karmas you will find the right genetics also. It was very easy to us children to do padmasan or baddhapadmasan – this is normal thing here. There was one sadhu – Kailash Brahmachari , he used to visit my ayurvedic doctor uncle; he will show us nauli, everybody try and we was able to do it. He even showed us khechari one time – which was too “wow” for us. This is India!

how this man learned to do khechari?

Guruji: he was trying – and made us to touch our nose with our tongue- but not inside. But even touch the nose with the tongue is something. And we all could do uddiyan and nauli.

I’m the fast reader; I could to read 4-5 novels in hindi in one day, one after another.

You remember everything You read?

Guruji: whatever I like – I remember. It was one exam in my army training camp, where we used to give a lecture on a fixed topic; the topic for me was – “I don’t like sweets, I like salt”. So I just said – I don’t like the sweet of luxury, I like the salt on my brow and work hard – something for our country. I’m a boasting type, yes. I think the more you read books- the better you talks begin. It helps! It’s the beginning; only after you can come back and see. Five novels a day is something. Then I became more busy and I begin to read English novels – than 1 novel a day. Even that is quick. We began to read – he was a good writer: James Hadley Chase, very good thrillers – and one novel a day was my daily. I still have his full collection.

have You read many books on Kriya yoga?

Guruji: oh, I came through so many fake gurus in the name of Kriya yoga and so many sadhus also. That’s how I discovered that ashram in Jagannath Puri. I think it was good exposure . If everything comes to you easily then you don’t value it much, that is also true. I think it will apply to everybody . Come easy – go easy.

what do You think: You wasn’t conscious that time – some subconscious mind was leading You towards Yoga?

Guruji: I think so, yes. Only Kriya yoga appealed to me; I was never interested in yoga postures or this thing or that thing; no philosophy – because I was read them all already. Now I’m went through Mahabharata. I’ve read Mahabharata complete work at 1969. And you know, when I’ve read Gheranda Samhita? 1966 or 1965. My father had so many books; and I still have that book. Vishnu Purana, Valmiki Ramayana – we all have it around that time; I begin to read. I’ve began to read Мшыртг Purana in 1965 and then read them all – all Mahapuranas.

You read all 18 of them?

Guruji: yes, later I’ve bought myself and went through all of them.

what was Your favorite purana?

Guruji: Mahabharata and Valmiki Ramayana. Mahabharata is one of the 18. Somehow even before I go to school I’ve begin to read. And there was a comics which were coming in our newspapers those times; they was my favorite.

I’m still don’t know what is my work and what I’m doing; yes, I’m lucky enough to learn something. Some of the things I’m sharing also.

don’t You have the déjà vu feeling when You read Mahabharata or Ramayana?

Guruji: that feeling came when I was reading the “Autobiography of the yogi”. It was the big surprise to see Lahiri Mahasaya’s photos: i saw and think I know him. and when I stand in front of his house I knew exactly what is inside. That was something.

what does it mean?

Guruji: maybe I was the mason who build that house(smiling) or the previous owner of Lahiri Mahasaya’s house – who knows? You can think on so many things. But usually people think they might be a disciple or Lahiri Mahasaya himself.

have You tried to remember Your past lives?

THE SNAKE CHARMER’S MANTRAS

By 1995 the area, with all landscaping and clearing, was still full of snakes; various Nagas, who lived there for centuries, were ultimately convinced that their land became infested with humans. The reptiles were different in types and great in numbers.

One evening, the workers saw a strange looking snake on the verandah of the chattri– and he went to investigate. First thing he saw was a cut off tiger’s tail, which was lying on the stone floor… and then it moved. He had never seen a snake with such skin patterns; the serpent was almost inert, and it was decided to call the local snake charmer, whom he befriended some time ago.

I think it was in 1979; maybe it was a little bit before – I was attending in army camp. There was one of thick friend – and we were discussing a lot and he suggested that you should read that book – it’s a great book – “Autobiography of the Yogi” by Paramahamsa Yogananda. Because I was very ferocious reader – so the name stark in my mind. I came back and I’ve got to buy that book in 1979 and I went through it I think in 24 hours – I was just reading and reading it. It lap the very deep impression on me; some of the photographs were very similar, very familiar to me: I thought- I’m knowing these people, but I don’t know how they are in this book. Then my search of Kriya Yoga begin. The thoughts was too much for me to bear.

I made some inquiries – it was some people in my home town who were in connected with Yukteshwar Giri ashram – so I went there in 1981. And I was there for 1 year. And I was thinking that whoever is taking the name of Kriya yoga – they are not less than paramahamsa and they are all sitting in Samadhi. But it was a tragic realization that they are just talking on Kriya yoga without knowing the real Kriya yoga. And in the mean time I want to read commentary on Gita by one of the real disciples of Shyamacharan Lahiri Mahasaya – Shri Bhupendranath Sanyal and comments of Lahiri Mahasaya as well – he has written three volumes of it.

And what they are describing is Kriya yoga, but absolutely different that I was been told that this is Kriya yoga. It developed inside me the great frustration, many complexes, anger, irritation – so many things. I didn’t know – where to go and where to find the real Kriya yoga, who will teach me the real Kriya yoga. I think many of the seekers go through these things.

I was sitting in Shri Yukteshwar Giri’s Samadhi – there was no one there. And I was just very depressed. Suddenly a Bollywood movie song I heard; in Orissa, where hindi virtually is not spoken and at the right moment, when I was touching the lowest bottom of my frustration and depression – suddenly this song I heard. “Ruk jana nahi” is such a hope-giving song, it changes my mood absolutely.

I came out of the Samadhi temple of Shri Yukteshwar Giri and begin to follow the sound – from where this song is been played. I follow that and find one man, who opened his office for the tourists – travelling agency – and song was playing there. I shook his hand and say – “ You’re great, paape” – and he offered me chai, two samosas and even one rasgulla. And then suddenly – mood is different and positive things begin to happen: I got to met in few disciples of Bhupendranath Sanyal, they told me the address of my Guru in Benares, they told me – he is the last one, who knows Kriya yoga, there maybe no one else now in India. I got his address, I came back home and then went to see my Guru – and all the rest history.

Maybe it happen in 1981.

what is translation of this song?

Guruji: “ruk jana nahi” – stop not, if you feel defeated. By the thorns you will find the shade of the spring, and you will find your destination. It is song by Kishore Kumar and till today it stands one of the most of my favorite songs. You should hear it.

These two songs are sort of inspiration: and ruk jana nahi appeared in exact moment – it’s impossible! And this we’re singing since school days.

Jeevan mein tu daarna nahi – It is very inspiring songs.

You say that one year You were in ashram?

Guruji: most of the sannyasi were travelling abroad, the head of the ashram was always in abroad and he love to teach only americans and he was not teaching Kriya yoga at all, which I came to realized. Somehow they swindled to capture the ashram – because Yukteshwar Giri left it to Yogananda Paramahamsa. So much things were go beyond – I mean it was beyond my imagination that things like these can happen when people are practicing Kriya yoga and about to be paramahamsas. It was a very much disappointed thing, but: I’ve got my great inspiration and found the address of my Guru, who graces me accept as his disciple. And I don’t want to give them importance by mentioning their names. Let the dead remain buried. The song is from the very old movie – probably in early 70s it was released.

It is impossible now to analyze – that why just in the right moment at the bottom of my depression this great song was played in Jagannath Puri, Orissa where hindi virtually is not spoken. I still don’t remember the name of that sikh – but I remember him physically and I still have a taste of the samosas in my mouth, chai and rasgulla – he was great person. I don’t think he will ever realized, what he did. It changed my attitude, suddenly more positive thoughts started.

what is the name of the person, who tell You the name of your Guru?

Guruji: his name was Jhvalaprasad Tiwari; and before meeting him I got to see one of the disciples of Bhupendranath Sanyal – his name was Shailendranath Mukherjee. He actually told me that what I’m doing is not Kriya yoga and he suggested to read that three volumes of the commentaries on Gita, which changed everything in my mind, opened them. I’m owe to mr. Bhupendranath Sanyal that his disciples showed me the right way.

how You find Shailendranath Mukherjee?

Guruji: I was living in Yukteshwar Giri’s ashram, waiting to find Kriya yoga, and what they were teaching was absolutely nothing; then I learn from someone, that near Shankaracharya’s ashram is the place of Bhupendranath Sanyal and a small temple, dedicated to Lahiri Mahasaya. One afternoon I went there and I found an old man, sitting in the big house there – in the veranda. He was also a disciple of Bhupendranath Sanyal and a very good yogi. He was alone and I just reached there – so he asked my name. I told him “ Shailendra” – because his name was also Shailendra so we begin to talk. Then topic came about Kriya yoga and he suggested that three volumes – he told me that what I have been taught is not Kriya yoga at all. I said – how will I believe? Then he told: will You believe Lahiri Mahasaya? I said – of course, he’s the father of Kriya yoga. And then he suggested that three volumes of Gita’s commentaries which carries the comments of Lahiri Mahasaya as well. It was too much, when I went through the books. And I had no money – so he gave me 110 rupees also to buy these books. So I owe him also- Shailendra owing Shailendra.

They were good people. And there are people, who were not so good. Their Guru came once – in 1994, we cater and hosting them for three days, they were more then three hundred people – it was good. All group of the disciples. They were impressed. Most of the people have an idea that yogi or sadhu must live somewhere in the shade of a tree or in a small hut, but when they entered this – it’s royal place.

when You found Your real Guru – how You react, when You receive the technics?

Guruji: I wrote a letter and I actually lost the address – so I just write to Lahiri Mahasaya Bengali tora, Benares – my Guru found the letter, then he answered me, wrote me his exact address. It was 2-3 letters when he called me – so I reach Benares at 30 th September in 1982, which was the birthday of Lahiri Mahasaya also. There was one professor in Gwalior who wrote me the letter to one of his cousins, who help me finding the address. It was nearly impossible to find the right place – but he helped me.

There I saw the group of the oldest men I’ve ever seen in my life. My Guru was youngest – he was 77 and oldest man might be 98. When I reached there – I feel very queer, because I was only 25 and they all were looking at me. It was the very strange feeling. Then he told me to come next day. It was as if I knew these technics before and he also catch it – or maybe he was already knowing it. That was the beginning of very interesting journey. End of one search – beginning of another.

maybe it’s disinformation, but I’ve heard that You came to person, who teach You in the ashram and told all that You think of him?

Guruji: oh, before leaving the ashram. I openly challenged him – that what You’re teaching is wrong. There was very big crowd – they were celebrating annual festival. I was standing alone there – and he was silent. Many people was trying to calm me down, but frustration was too much. If somebody robs you on your money – it’s another thing; but if your faith is somehow hurt – then it hurts more.

I will complete the 35 years of practicing yoga in October. It’s a long time of practice – or may be nothing. Many people are saying – oh, You are great – but I love to call Newton here. When people say – You’re great scientist – he said: no, I’m standing on the shoulders of giants, that’s why I’m looking tall. I like this quotation and I would like to say it.

how did You feel after meeting the real Guru?

Guruji: the confidence was so high after meeting him. And I knew finally, what I have to do. Because in other places you’re just too much into philosophy and just thinking nice things – no hard work is required; but when you receive real Kriya – you already know that it is pretty hard work. It was the very great feeling – happiness, confidence was very high, satisfaction was also there. And anxiety was also there – whether I will be able to do it or I can’t do it. When I saw khechari for the first time – I thought I can not do it, but it was done – it was so many mixed feelings there.

in ashram they not teach khechari?

Guruji: they never even talk about it. Because we belong to the original lineage – so we discuss khechari as if it is nothing, but I tell you – nobody discuss. Here almost everybody can do it – I think it’s a great blessing.

MANGO SHAKE

That was in 1986: I was jobless as usual; one of my cousins came from Mathura. My brother was working somewhere – so I was alone in my town and we begin to live on my maternal uncle’s government quarter. He had some money – so we just drinking milk and working out 2 hours every day and some people were coming to see me because I was already Guru in Kriya yoga lineage. Slowly-slowly our money went away within a month time – because we were training like two wrestlers and eating as well. Finally only 15 rupees were left – that was the sole amount of money. So we decided – what shall we do now? – tomorrow we’re going to stuff or seat by the roadside; because it was very great humiliation if you ask money from some relative or from maternal uncle whose quarter we already living in. so we decide relax and see what will happen tomorrow; let’s have mango shake today!

Those days mango shake cost 5 rupees one glass. We took the very old scooter, went to the central market and ordered 2 glasses of mango shake. We spent 10 rupees – so only 5 rupees were left; and we were sipping it so slowly – it lasted more than 1 hour: because you don’t know tomorrow what will happen. After that when we were sipping our last a child of maybe 10-11 years old came crying. He was working for himself, selling different types of balloons; on a stick it was a sort of display and he was carrying it; some balloons were there and he was crying. He just stood near us and begin to cry. He was really very sad; I said: what happen? He said: I’ve earned 5 rupees today and I was taking them to my mother and I’ve lost them somewhere. I had to take a medicine and some food for her. In those days it was easy to arrange food for one day: on 5 rupees you can by some flour, some dal and cook yourself. I looked to my friend-cousin and he looked at me; we took out the 5 rupees note and gave him. he stopped crying immediately and ran away – to his mother or somewhere.

Then we start our scooter and started back; and before 200 meters where we were staying the petrol was gone. So we just went with the scooter singing. Next day – maybe it was a test from someone or whatever happen – one person came whose son I help(he was in a very bad condition); as you see I keep helping if I enable to them – he just came out of the blue, touched my feet and said: thank You, You helped my son – and please take these 300 rupees from me and I will be very grateful if You accept. And it begin. That was the first time somebody offered me money – out of the blue, without asking, because I helped him few months back. Since then – good supply. Maybe it was a test or something – we can only think of that. But I’m still feeling very good that I was able to give him 5 rupees. I still remember his face – but we never saw him again. And we never take mango shake after that place, never visited it again.

DO NOT BE A SNOB

about formless thought: first image is somehow limit it and then words limit it even more?

Guruji: but it becomes much more clear

but it lose that possibilities which it have when it was formless?

Guruji: there is another point: take example of the sea. If you want to test the water – you will take a small portion of the sea to test it in laboratory – you cannot take the whole ocean in laboratory. Out of the great vast ocean of the consciousness you take some form, make it more crystalline by expressing it – then you understand so many things out of it.

I’m already living in the cremation area, doesn’t differentiate between people – even though I’m a brahmin by birth – for me everybody is same. Sincere approach required.

could it be that person was born in low caste – but looking and showing like a brahmin?

Guruji: no, the genetics will play their own. In my disciples there are every type of persons. Thanks to my father: he was a district judge, it’s big status. But instead of sending me to private school or something, where I become a snob, he sent me to the government school. There were sweepers, our servants sons – every person was there and I was there – so the very different type of communication begin. It took me some time to understand that my social status and their social status differs. I’m no problem in communicating – even with the kings or the lowly of the lowest.

I will tell you one incident: I was in third standard then. There was one boy and his father was constable, who brings important reports of court to the house of the judge. There is my nature: I’m calling everybody by name; it was very difficult for me to say “uncle” or “aunty” or something, I don’t know why. He was a very good friend of mine and they have a quarter in a central jail campus which was facing our «bungalow». One day in the afternoon I went to his house. We were playing and then constable came, his father. And I was not knowing that this constable is my friend’s father. So I just call him by name – how you are here? Then my friend said: he is my father. He became very nervous suddenly – that the son of the judge is in my house, what to do, how to behave… I couldn’t understand that, I was too young. Then I went home. Next day when I went to school my friend was maintain the distance with me, not talking. I ask him: why are you not talking? He said: my father said not to talk with you. Why? He said – playing with big people son will spoil you. Then I came home I discuss it with my father: then he explained the social status and all these things – till then I was not aware. And in 1 or 2 days we became friends again. So – thanks to my father, my head is leveled, no snob is developed.

Also it was a musalman from sagar district; thanks to my mother and father – I had a habit to bring the friends to my house; my mother will gave them the same treatment. She was not discriminated – he’s a butcher’s son or he’s sweeper’s son, no. my nature was bring every friend to house. She treated them well and nobody told me – why, whom you’re bringing? I think it was very good training from them to me. I’m sure he must be remembering me – that butcher’s son, he must be old now.

My elder brother married princess of Jamnagar – so we were communicating with the royal family, kings – same way as with sweeper’s and butcher’s sons, same way with the royal family also. My mind is still leveled.

I WAS YOUNG, I AM STILL YOUNG

Well, when I was young – when my Guru made me Guru 40 years before, on 28th of April; people were not taking me seriously because I was young guy.

Now after 42 years they are taking me very seriously because I’m still looking young. So - this is public opinion. Thank you!

I think it was in 1979; maybe it was a little bit before – I was attending in army camp. There was one of thick friend – and we were discussing a lot and he suggested that you should read that book – it’s a great book – “Autobiography of the Yogi” by Paramahamsa Yogananda. Because I was very ferocious reader – so the name stark in my mind. I came back and I’ve got to buy that book in 1979 and I went through it I think in 24 hours – I was just reading and reading it. It lap the very deep impression on me; some of the photographs were very similar, very familiar to me: I thought- I’m knowing these people, but I don’t know how they are in this book. Then my search of Kriya Yoga begin. The thoughts was too much for me to bear.

I made some inquiries – it was some people in my home town who were in connected with Yukteshwar Giri ashram – so I went there in 1981. And I was there for 1 year. And I was thinking that whoever is taking the name of Kriya yoga – they are not less than paramahamsa and they are all sitting in Samadhi. But it was a tragic realization that they are just talking on Kriya yoga without knowing the real Kriya yoga. And in the mean time I want to read commentary on Gita by one of the real disciples of Shyamacharan Lahiri Mahasaya – Shri Bhupendranath Sanyal and comments of Lahiri Mahasaya as well – he has written three volumes of it.

And what they are describing is Kriya yoga, but absolutely different that I was been told that this is Kriya yoga. It developed inside me the great frustration, many complexes, anger, irritation – so many things. I didn’t know – where to go and where to find the real Kriya yoga, who will teach me the real Kriya yoga. I think many of the seekers go through these things.

I was sitting in Shri Yukteshwar Giri’s Samadhi – there was no one there. And I was just very depressed. Suddenly a Bollywood movie song I heard; in Orissa, where hindi virtually is not spoken and at the right moment, when I was touching the lowest bottom of my frustration and depression – suddenly this song I heard. “Ruk jana nahi” is such a hope-giving song, it changes my mood absolutely.

I came out of the Samadhi temple of Shri Yukteshwar Giri and begin to follow the sound – from where this song is been played. I follow that and find one man, who opened his office for the tourists – travelling agency – and song was playing there. I shook his hand and say – “ You’re great, paape” – and he offered me chai, two samosas and even one rasgulla. And then suddenly – mood is different and positive things begin to happen: I got to met in few disciples of Bhupendranath Sanyal, they told me the address of my Guru in Benares, they told me – he is the last one, who knows Kriya yoga, there maybe no one else now in India. I got his address, I came back home and then went to see my Guru – and all the rest history.

Maybe it happen in 1981.

what is translation of this song?

Guruji: “ruk jana nahi” – stop not, if you feel defeated. By the thorns you will find the shade of the spring, and you will find your destination. It is song by Kishore Kumar and till today it stands one of the most of my favorite songs. You should hear it.

These two songs are sort of inspiration: and ruk jana nahi appeared in exact moment – it’s impossible! And this we’re singing since school days.

Jeevan mein tu daarna nahi – It is very inspiring songs.

You say that one year You were in ashram?

Guruji: most of the sannyasi were travelling abroad, the head of the ashram was always in abroad and he love to teach only americans and he was not teaching Kriya yoga at all, which I came to realized. Somehow they swindled to capture the ashram – because Yukteshwar Giri left it to Yogananda Paramahamsa. So much things were go beyond – I mean it was beyond my imagination that things like these can happen when people are practicing Kriya yoga and about to be paramahamsas. It was a very much disappointed thing, but: I’ve got my great inspiration and found the address of my Guru, who graces me accept as his disciple. And I don’t want to give them importance by mentioning their names. Let the dead remain buried. The song is from the very old movie – probably in early 70s it was released.

It is impossible now to analyze – that why just in the right moment at the bottom of my depression this great song was played in Jagannath Puri, Orissa where hindi virtually is not spoken. I still don’t remember the name of that sikh – but I remember him physically and I still have a taste of the samosas in my mouth, chai and rasgulla – he was great person. I don’t think he will ever realized, what he did. It changed my attitude, suddenly more positive thoughts started.

what is the name of the person, who tell You the name of your Guru?

Guruji: his name was Jhvalaprasad Tiwari; and before meeting him I got to see one of the disciples of Bhupendranath Sanyal – his name was Shailendranath Mukherjee. He actually told me that what I’m doing is not Kriya yoga and he suggested to read that three volumes of the commentaries on Gita, which changed everything in my mind, opened them. I’m owe to mr. Bhupendranath Sanyal that his disciples showed me the right way.

how You find Shailendranath Mukherjee?

Guruji: I was living in Yukteshwar Giri’s ashram, waiting to find Kriya yoga, and what they were teaching was absolutely nothing; then I learn from someone, that near Shankaracharya’s ashram is the place of Bhupendranath Sanyal and a small temple, dedicated to Lahiri Mahasaya. One afternoon I went there and I found an old man, sitting in the big house there – in the veranda. He was also a disciple of Bhupendranath Sanyal and a very good yogi. He was alone and I just reached there – so he asked my name. I told him “ Shailendra” – because his name was also Shailendra so we begin to talk. Then topic came about Kriya yoga and he suggested that three volumes – he told me that what I have been taught is not Kriya yoga at all. I said – how will I believe? Then he told: will You believe Lahiri Mahasaya? I said – of course, he’s the father of Kriya yoga. And then he suggested that three volumes of Gita’s commentaries which carries the comments of Lahiri Mahasaya as well. It was too much, when I went through the books. And I had no money – so he gave me 110 rupees also to buy these books. So I owe him also- Shailendra owing Shailendra.

They were good people. And there are people, who were not so good. Their Guru came once – in 1994, we cater and hosting them for three days, they were more then three hundred people – it was good. All group of the disciples. They were impressed. Most of the people have an idea that yogi or sadhu must live somewhere in the shade of a tree or in a small hut, but when they entered this – it’s royal place.

when You found Your real Guru – how You react, when You receive the technics?

Guruji: I wrote a letter and I actually lost the address – so I just write to Lahiri Mahasaya Bengali tora, Benares – my Guru found the letter, then he answered me, wrote me his exact address. It was 2-3 letters when he called me – so I reach Benares at 30 th September in 1982, which was the birthday of Lahiri Mahasaya also. There was one professor in Gwalior who wrote me the letter to one of his cousins, who help me finding the address. It was nearly impossible to find the right place – but he helped me.

There I saw the group of the oldest men I’ve ever seen in my life. My Guru was youngest – he was 77 and oldest man might be 98. When I reached there – I feel very queer, because I was only 25 and they all were looking at me. It was the very strange feeling. Then he told me to come next day. It was as if I knew these technics before and he also catch it – or maybe he was already knowing it. That was the beginning of very interesting journey. End of one search – beginning of another.

maybe it’s disinformation, but I’ve heard that You came to person, who teach You in the ashram and told all that You think of him?

Guruji: oh, before leaving the ashram. I openly challenged him – that what You’re teaching is wrong. There was very big crowd – they were celebrating annual festival. I was standing alone there – and he was silent. Many people was trying to calm me down, but frustration was too much. If somebody robs you on your money – it’s another thing; but if your faith is somehow hurt – then it hurts more.

I will complete the 35 years of practicing yoga in October. It’s a long time of practice – or may be nothing. Many people are saying – oh, You are great – but I love to call Newton here. When people say – You’re great scientist – he said: no, I’m standing on the shoulders of giants, that’s why I’m looking tall. I like this quotation and I would like to say it.

how did You feel after meeting the real Guru?

Guruji: the confidence was so high after meeting him. And I knew finally, what I have to do. Because in other places you’re just too much into philosophy and just thinking nice things – no hard work is required; but when you receive real Kriya – you already know that it is pretty hard work. It was the very great feeling – happiness, confidence was very high, satisfaction was also there. And anxiety was also there – whether I will be able to do it or I can’t do it. When I saw khechari for the first time – I thought I can not do it, but it was done – it was so many mixed feelings there.

in ashram they not teach khechari?

Guruji: they never even talk about it. Because we belong to the original lineage – so we discuss khechari as if it is nothing, but I tell you – nobody discuss. Here almost everybody can do it – I think it’s a great blessing.

GURU ABOUT GURU

Before Guru Purnima he visited with his grandson; and amazing thing was that he could not do khechari, but he was doing 24 mahamudras every day. He was 99. My Guru has three layers; three buildings with very steep stairs. That 99 years old man simply ran up the stairs. He had absolutely perfect working condition. Very slim, straight, ramrod,- only grey hairs and few wrinkles; otherwise he was in perfect physical condition. 24 mahamudras a day; and he was doing 288 pranayamas every day: at the age of 99 he was in such extreme good physical condition. That gives us hope!

They all came young to my Guru and they all grow old together. It was my first exposure to such senior people; I was 25 then – and they were all looking at me. My Guru was youngest: he was 77. And the oldest person was maybe 97. And all those senior people will start looking at you: you feel very strange. But it was good – then they all became my friends. I’ve never come across such a senior group even after that. Most of them were in a good working condition. And there was one Shastri Ji; he was then 91, if I remember correctly. And he was having long hairs: and it was absolute jet black hairs. Beard and moustaches was white and grey, and he had some accidents so he was walking with the help of a stick- and he had great sense of humour: I inherited only one thing from my family and father- my hairs( laughing). and he was looking youngest among that senior – because his hairs were black.

what was the discussions that time?

Guruji: oh, they were already beyond discussions; they were read a chapter of Gita with Lahiri Mahasaya’s commentaries and one chapter of Shrimad Bhagavatam. Then aarati of Shiva and maybe few bhajans – that’s it. It was about 2 hours program every evening.

what mantras You were singing?

Guruji: not mantras – some bhajans in praise of Shiva.

that is great if you can do full Nabhi Kriya at the age of 97; then how yogis decide when the time came to die?

Guruji: they know. You will know exactly and precise moment.

but he will be able to do this technic?

Guruji: of course – otherwise he will never know. This is what Gita writes in 8th chapter: bhruvormadhye pranamavesyasamyak sa tam param purusamupaiti divyam. Bhrumadhya is suggested in Gita. The point on the top of the head is for sahasrara; when it is awaken – then it is different program. But for leaving the body – bhrumadhya. Bhrumadhya is very important in yoga practice.

it will be like support of Parampara: to give the force to the yogi to do this final technic?

Guruji: Parampara always supports. In extreme adverse conditions I felt their support, always.

before You start to seek Your Guru – have You know Your destiny that You will be the yogi?

Guruji: when I was very young I had a very strong impression that I’ll going to write books. And also I knew that I’ll live in a very big place. Because we were so found of reading novels and comics – so I was thinking that I will write some novel or some detective story – but it happened to be different. And I’m living in a big place now. Maybe such impressions are known to every child.

then You read the “Autobiography of the yogi”?

Guruji: something click inside my mind and the journey begin.

that time You were sure that You will be the yogi for the whole life?

Guruji: yes, never any doubt. Main thing was to find a Guru. It was a big adventure and I travelled all over India just for that. And I think that experience was the most needed: when you’re searching for a true Guru and you’re lucky enough to find him – you go through many fake people and I will tell you: bigger deceptions are done in the name of God and spirituality then in the name of deception itself. If you’re man enough or you’re strong enough – then you will overcome all these disappointments and heartbreaks – it will actually prepare you. These things are needed for developing your own personality and making you strong-hearted person; because path of yoga is very mysterious and needs a very strong mind and heart to go on. Only setbacks are actually test you.

Somebody asked me: is Your heart ok? He just had a heart attack and came to ask me about my heart. It is witted by so many desires and was broken so many times – then still it is beating: it must be good.

your heart was broken many times?

Guruji: I just said to him. still picking up the pieces.

THE WOMAN IS THE FIRST GURU

When my mother was taking me to the market for shopping- I would walk 20 steps away from her. I don’t know – why this attitude was there. And it changed after that incident which happened near Puri – when I was lying and they were giving me food. Then everything changed, my point of view changed,- and I began to talk with them. Before that I was not even talking with them.

My Initiation and First Meeting with Babaji

I was selected to become an officer in the Indian Army after passing all the needed tests. But my mood was bad: some incidents had happened; I saw many deaths around me. One prominent question was on my mind – what happens to the immortal soul after death. Finding the answer became so important that I abandoned all ideas about an army career and began my search. I was 22 years old then.

On July 11, 1979, I sat down to meditate for the first time in my life. It was a very good experience and I decided then and there that I would do nothing else but follow the yogic way of life.

I came across the information on the yoga system of Kriya lineage; there were some statements that by practicing this yoga you can know what happens after death.

I had already read many books. The necessity of having a teacher was obvious and I began to look for a guru. While traveling all over India, I met hundreds of sadhus, many so-called yogis. I learnt a lot from them. But whenever it came to any discussion on samadhi, they were silent. They could not teach me that.

All this began in 1979 and for three years I was searching for my guru.

I left home with only 5-10 rupees in my pocket and went to Jagannath Puri and then to Vrindavan, searching for Kriya gurus. I received the grace of my guru in Jagannath Puri while living in the ashram of Yukteshwar Giri. That’s where I first heard of my teacher...

One day I spoke to an old man who was quietly sitting on the verandah. His name was Shailendranath Mukherjee. Perhaps because my name sounded similar, he took an interest in me and asked me about my Kriya studies. Upon hearing me out, he put a doubt in my mind by saying, “What you are practicing is not an original Kriya.” He gave me money to purchase three volumes of Bhagavad Gita with commentaries by Lahiri Mahasaya. I started to realize that the truth of Kriya was somewhere else...

In the chain of events, I heard from a disciple from another line of Lahiri Mahasaya. He told me, “You may try to visit the grandson of Lahiri Mahasaya. He still lives in Benares and he is quite old. Go see him. He might agree to teach you, he might not...Give it a try.” He asked an old lady to write down the address for me on a piece of paper and I felt that I was holding a lottery ticket in my hand.

I just knew that this teacher would become my guru. While searching for Kriya, I had read all the books, all the commentaries by Lahiri Mahasaya and he always talked about Khechari. All yoga textbooks talked about Khechari. And I was told that this teacher knew it.

I wrote a letter and received an invitation to come. So I borrowed some money from somebody and just landed in Benares.

I saw my guru for the first time on September 30, 1982. I reached his house. It was a very curious experience. There were only old people sitting on the veranda and a very old man was reading from Bhagawatam. My guru was the youngest: he was 77 and the oldest man among them was 98.

Seeing the bunch of these old folks made me feel like a fool. I was only 25 then. All of them were looking at me. I could not recognize my guru among them; he was a very humble man and very simply dressed. I just sat down. Then other old people came and offered pranam to him.

Then I understood who he was and also offered my pranam after the reading was over. He recognized me and said, “You are Shailendra from Gwalior. I was waiting for you. Come tomorrow after having a bath in the Ganges at about 7:00-7:30 a.m. Bring a copy and a pen and five garlands to put on Shiva and the statue of Lahiri Mahasaya.”

I could not sleep with excitement. I got up very early, took a bath in the Ganges, and went to my guru's house at 6 0’clock. He came down at 7. There, in Benares, in the house of my guru, I received my initiation into Kriya Yoga on October 1, 1982.

That moment of initiation changed my life. It was the first level of Kriya; the same level I give to every new student. When later I became a guru, he made me promise that I would teach exactly as I had been taught, without changing a thing. Since then I am doing exactly that.

When he was teaching me Kriya, after I had made five promises, obligatory in this lineage, it seemed to me that I instinctively knew everything he said. Another extraordinary thing happened during Yoni Mudra. On the day of initiation I was able to hold my breath up to two hundred counts. That made my guru very happy. Then he told me, “Bring your luggage here, and stay with me.”

He checked my practice again in the evening and told me that I could leave the next day and come back after achieving Khechari. He also told me, “I am an old man; I do not know when I will die, so work hard.” I thought that I had found the right teacher after such a long search all over India. What would happen if he died? Who would teach me then?

That made me practice with all my strength.

So all this started in July 1979, that was indeed very strange time: as darshans of Maa Anandamayee also happen in 1979 and the darshans of this Sadhu Maharaj also happened in 1979; so was He a sadhu or some siddha or even the Amara Guru himself as in Gwalior they say on Amara mountain Amara Guru lives himself (the Immortal One). But I believe all this Big People did blessed me from time to time.

Before his death when my guru told me: “I’ve taught everything I know.” I was practicing 14 hours a day. He died in January 1987. After his death I was so much inspired that I was practicing 14 to 16 hours every day. I was practicing, practicing, practicing. The thought began to grow very strongly in my mind that there are still some missing links in the high practices. That feeling grew and grew and grew and I was disturbed with that: from whom will I learn these missing things? There was nobody to discuss them from that level – unless a person is advanced to that level you don’t quite even discuss these things. And that made me very bad. I was feeling disturbed, even a little bit depressed. Then suddenly a chance to visit Benares came. And I visited Benares. It was the 1st of April.

I received my initiation on the 1st October in 1982. I have already decided that I will only practice yoga, I will do nothing else. When I was 22 years old, on the 11-th of July 1979, I sat down to meditate for the first time in my life. It was a very good experience and I decided then and there that I will do nothing else but just follow the yogi way of life. As I had already read many books I began to look for a guru. I saw hundreds of sadhu, so many so called yogis, learned a lot from them. But whenever it came to talk about Samadhi they were silent – they could not teach me that.

I left home with only 5-10 rupies in my pocket and went to Pooree, to Vrindavan searching for kriya gurus. I lived there for more than one year and I found the grace of my Guru in Jagannat Pooree. Then I came back home, I wrote him a letter. He answered and then I visited him. I saw him for the first time reaching his house at the 30th of September 1982. It was a very queer experience because there were only old people sitting in his veranda, and a very old person was reading from Bhagavat. My Guru was the youngest: he was 77 and the oldest person was 98. Only old men were sitting there and I was feeling like a fool – I was 25 only! They were also looking at me. I could not recognize my Guru among them because he was a very easy man and very simply dressed. I just sat down when some more old men came and offered him pranam. Then I recognized that it was him. Then after that thing was over I also offered my pranam. He recognized me: “Ok, you are Shailendra from Gwalior. I was waiting for you. Come tomorrow after having a bath in the Ganges at about 7 – 7.30. Bring a copy and a pen and five garlands to put on Shiva and Lahiri Mahasaya”.

So, I could not sleep with excitement. I got up very early, took a bath at the Ganges and went to him, reaching his house at 6 o’clock. He came down at 7.

When he initiated me that was the moment which changed my life. Also I would say it was the first level the same which I give to everybody. Because when he made me Guru he made me promise that I would teach exactly as I had been taught, with no change of any kind. So I’m doing that.

When he was teaching me kriya after I had made five promises it seemed instinctively I knew what he said. Another extraordinary thing happened during yoni mudra: that day I was able to hold my breath up to two hundred counts when I was initiated. That made him a very happy person. Then he told me: “Bring your luggage here, stay with me”. Then he saw my practice again, in the evening, he told me that I could leave the next day and come when I had done khechary. He also told me: “I am an old man, I do not know when I will die, so work hard”.

“Now you understand why I had to leave Gwalior! This kind of fame is a disturbance. Anyone could come and knock at my door—it was just a small one-room cottage. I eventually had to put gatemen outside to control the crowd. It became difficult to step out in the city; people gathered around me. Since childhood, I somehow knew I would write books, live in a palace-like building, and create a temple of Shiva. Many thought I was crazy. I had no job, no business—and people would laugh: ‘He has no money, yet thinks like a king.’”

“And a question came into my mind: what is death, what is life and what happens when a person dies? This question became so prominent in my mind, that I abandoned my thoughts about any career in the Army and began to search. And during my search I came across yoga system and this lineage. There was some information that by practicing this you can understand what happens after death. And then the question of immortal soul emerged”.

“Now you do understand why I had to run away from Gwalior! Becoming famous like that is a real disturbance. Everybody could come and knock at my door — that was a simple one room cottage. At last I put some gatemen to control this flow of people. But it was very difficult for me to go out in the city: people gathered around me. I remember very well that from the childhood I knew that I would write some books, live in a palace-like building and create a temple of Shiva. Lots of people thought I was crazy. I had no job, no business – and people used to laugh at me: “He has no money. But he thinks like a king”.

“I was nineteen or twenty at that time. I went to the bookstore and found that book. I still remember I paid sixteen rupees for it. I read it in one breath. The pictures of Lahiri Mahasaya, Babaji and others were so familiar to me as if I knew those people. And when I read about kriya yoga, I thought: this is the thing I must do. And I began to search for a guru”.

“I faced lots of adventures and misadventures while searching for a guru. So many fake gurus, so many techniques that only in word are the techniques of kriya yoga, so many false sadhus and sanyasis. I was 25 years old. Did I think that those three years of searching for a guru would be so educative? Now I can make a comparison, I can see what is wrong and what is right”.